how it's so much better.

i had an EXTREMELY AWESOME weekend! great start to the final sem of my life.
now it's back to the books and back to the grinder :(

anyway, friday was nice...meeting up with an old, old friend from my secondary school days ...hadn't seen her for 6 years! damn, that's long.
saturday was spent lazing around at home, coffee with a friend, and then a birthday dinner and a good dance off at butter ;)
today was a sleep-in day, followed by more catching up with girlfriends, watching a movie and eating dinner and having coffee.
WOW.

hahaha nowhere does work fit in here does it?
i'm screwed! probably need to work extra hard this coming week. i hope i can pull it all together. i haven't secured all my modules, and am hoping i do get them secured so that i can finally FILE FOR GRADUATION! (wow. that sounds reaaaallllly scary. i am scared. i think you already know this, if you are a faithful reader. of which i have many...hahaha, don't ask me how i know. i know. all you mystery readers (Stalkers))

it's okay, go ahead read this if it makes you happy. or if it makes you feel better about your life. hahaha. i'm glad i can be of some help, even if it makes me a negative example.

so anyway, i know i've been talking abt this alot...but the killers are in less than a week....and i'm REALLY SUPER EXCITED! i have been listening to killers' songs all week...in some pathetic attempt (pseudo-psychological) to psych myself up for the concert! yay!)

i have also found a new part time job, to earn some money so that i can have fun during my final sem without worrying about costs, and so that i will not touch my life savings (some of which i intend to use for my grad trip! more on that soon!)

life is starting to pick up for me, and i feel as light as a feather. there is a spring in my step and a sparkle in my eyes. because i am contented.
and that is very, very, very different from being happy.
i'd be lying if i said there isn't a part of me that still hurts. but that part gets smaller and smaller each day, and the pain is diminishing. almost entirely gone. i've settled into my own. and i've learnt to accept things the way they are.
betrayal is a painful thing to swallow, a painful thing to experience. i will never tolerate that sort of behaviour. but i can accept the fact that everything happens for a reason, and that this is how my life has played itself out so far. and it's been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. i can't wait for the rest of it to play out.and that's what keeps me going, everyday.
the uncertainty of life, the unpredictability of it all, the anticipation of looking forward to the rest of my life, to becoming a better person, and the joy of knowing that there will be more good things ahead.

i don't really care about you anymore. and i most certainly don't love you. you exist, but you have become (and i say this in the most sincere of ways) a tiny memory at the back of my head. something that reminds me everyday how far i've come and how much stronger i am now, and something that reminds me that i had it in me all along, and gives me the confidence to follow through with the rest of my life.

so there.
this is the peace i am hoping to recover this year.
and i'm on my way!