it's due monday.
i'm not even done planning it!
and i have another essay due tuesday at 4pm.
hahaha, bet you thought this post was gonna be about the south china sea conflict. totally love putting up these misleadingly boring titles to my post. can you imagine some nerdy academic searching up the south china sea on google for his next publication...and then getting a hit from my lousy un-intellectual blog? HAHAHAHAHAHA *evil laughter*
i love screwing up geek plans.
SO ANYWAY,
i had a fairly (i say this after much deliberation, and in the interest of not downplaying my hard work) productive week.
i mean it's true, i did slack. i did mess around. i did have lots of fun. i did go out.
but i also did (or really tried to do) lots of research and library-book-borrowing. i guess it all balances itself out.
why am i still so worried? feeling totally insecure about this! hopefully i can get work done tomorrow and NOT. PROCASTINATE. damnit.
"procastinators. leaders of tomorrow!!" haha love that quote.
oh damn you, procastination. by the way, this blog post....is so totally a product of my procastinating.
sigh.
now my lazy brain is telling me to screw all the work in front of me, and to go to sleep and promise myself (like i've done many times and failed to live up to) to wake up early and get a fresh head start on work. and be the productive, uber-hardworking, and anti-social girl that i used to be. that's how i used to get my grades. i traded friends for grades. sadly.
well, now that my CAP (read: GPA) has stabilised, maybe it isn't so bad after all. ahh, it's already week 11 of the semester. boy, does time fly really fast! soon it will be the exams and before you know it, christmas'll be here and then the new year. wow. 2010. a fresh start. i'm getting butterflies in my tummy just thinking about it.
i know it's super cliche, and super lame and cheesy to say this. but, i really like new years. they always make me feel a little wiser, a little older and a little new-er. does anyone ever feel the same way? it's the feeling you get when you're counting down with your friends and you're reveling in the spirit of it all, when you're ready to let go of the current year, all of its ups and downs, the mishaps and the joys, and when you're ready to break the surface and sort of, look to the year ahead. it feels like being able to take a huge, deep breath of fresh air. literally. the air actually smells newer and cleaner and fresher once the minute hand hits 12:01 am. and, it feels like everything is suddenly untouched, renewed and rejuvenated all over again.
and then you head home after vigorous partying (say ETA around 3am ish). and your head hits the pillow and you sink into your bed in all tiredness, and you smile to yourself, thinking...this is gonna be a good year. i can just feel it.
i do that, you know? do you think i've lost it?! hahaha. it's okay, i'm pretty sure you do it too (or maybe some variant of it) but i'm just brave enough to come out and admit the crazies in my head. hehehe.
can't wait for school to end. can't wait to finish this semester. can't wait to leave this country and start working overseas. i need this fresh air (both literally and metaphorically speaking).
i need the air
the crisp, fresh air. like now, really.
this is where i wanna be. can you imagine it? just by myself, far away from everything and anything.
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